It’s not safe for a man to hurt.

Your reactivity is viewed as dangerous.
Your vulnerability is experienced by others as weakness.
Your anger is not seen as valid, but rather as “selfishness” or your "bruised ego”

And as a result of lacking true safety…

Your unseen hurt, hurts people.

You fracture precious relationships.
Your hidden vices find their way to the surface.
The “real you” gets found out, exposed, and condemned.
The fallout validates the idea that “who you are hurts people”.

And what happens is…

Your trauma is viewed as a “red flag”.

You don’t believe you’re good enough for your romantic partner.
You’re afraid no one will accept you as you are.
You isolate to protect yourself from judgment.

And you fear that….

You’ll never change.

You’ll only be as good as your mistakes and failures.
No one will soften into what it’s like to be you.
You’ll become a shell of your potential - caught in cycles of shame, hiding, fear, lying, addiction, or trauma.

The loneliness from hurting for so long only continues to perpetuate a “view of self”
that makes you believe you truly are a broken, unlovable, “bad person”.

But all that you really want is…

To have your pain be validated and understood.

To have your shame be met with love and compassion.
To have an environment where you can express your deepest truth without consequence.
To have freedom from your trauma, shame, and reactivity.

But more than anything you want…

To know you’re a man who is “different”.

Who can be confident, strong, vulnerable, and capable of achieving his goals and dreams.
Who owns their deepest truth and can ravish the world with his gift of love.
Who can disarm the fears of his most precious relationships with his clarity, wholeness, and passion.

Who believes that he is lovable, worthy, and powerful.